Each day is full of challenge. Whether it be in being a mom, with a busy toddler. Being the wife of a man who recently had a brain tumor, and is well BUSY.... but improving. Or just being me. I am busy as well. Ha.
Evey's needs are changing, we are getting back into a small routine, but her boundries and rules may have been stretched a little out of grace. This is harder than it seems. With lots of questions and comments, I don't always know how to respond. I am always honest though. I know we will have lots of questions for lots of years ahead.
Joel walked the stairs at our house, we are almost ready to get home, but we are tapering seizure meds and I really need the peace of mind that seizures are not continuing. Its been one week today since our last episode. Otherwise Joel is doing well. He has alot to say. His heart and outlook on life has changed dramatically. This is something I have prayed for, for many years. That is a whole other blog subject. But lets just say I am thankful that with this tumor filters are off, and he is more honest than ever. Yes yes, we need filters still but well we are thankful none the less.
As for me? my nerves are a bit calmer these days. I remain confident that God is really bigger than all of this. He is our healer. My heart is still heavy at times, but I am learning to see the joy in the moments we have right here, right now. I have been getting my dental work done- OY and glasses fixed! (Thanks complete vision!)
I am learning to take the negative stories on the internet with a grain of salt, and praise God for the positive ones. Initially there were alot of tears. Our last day in the hospital I was so tired, and so eager to be home, my mom had to come help me. I may or may not have cried my self into throwing up, several times. But in these moments, when I am literally face to the ground, I have learned that in Christ alone, I do place my trust. He is a fortress in a time of trial. And honestly this storm will pass. For our future holds plans of prosper and hope.
I don't have the option to lay in bed, as long as I want, or avoid the day. I have to put on my big girl pants, take a deep breath and remember that God is Good. I have my spouse today. And I love him, and our daughter. We all plan to grow old, and sit on a porch someday. Honestly I am still believing that old age, not Cancer will take my husband.
Day by Day.... I knew in my spirit from when I saw that first CT scan, that day by day is how our life will be. We will encourage others to live every day in that day. LOVE your friends and co-workers. TELL THEM. Encourage them to be healthy. Live every day with purpose and meaning. Life is not for wasting.
Please remember Rob Pennock's family, and my Work Family in your prayers. We have been hit with a loss of a younger co-worker, friend and brother. He was a great loving man, who really was the real deal in life. Full of love and compassion. And a good laugh. To Rob I say this. "I loved talking about fresh herbs, and scrumptious deserts with you at 2 in the morning. Your joy for our job fueled, my desire to learn more and more all the time. Those late night talks and laughs will be remembered. Know that you will be missed. You are loved. and we will see you on the other-side."